open letters
Dear ABC,
Your commentators are terrible. Please hire new ones, preferably articulate people with a basic knowledge of the game. At the very least, please hire researchers who will expand their reading beyond the English tabloids. While it is facinating that Becks has hair and wears clothes, this is not actually relevant to the game at hand. (Unless the product in his hair is so heavy as to add extra weight for his feet.) Yes, we know that Beckham is known for bending the ball. Yes, we know there was a movie whose title indicated this. But the fact of the matter is, the man does, occasionally, do something else.
It might also help if you gave your commentators a list with the team's names and corresponding numbers. Also if at least one of your commentators had actually heard of Paraguay before commenting on Paraguay's first match. Also, while the people plugging in the text realized that Paraguay had twice as many fouls as England, the commentators completely failed to mention that the refs seemed uninclined to call Paraguay out on any of their violent, un-called for attacks.
And, to the irritable guy: If it's so easy, why aren't you playing?
I would be happy to help you rectify the matter by offering my services.
Best,
- J
Dear Becks,
What's with the blue shoes? As soon as everyone else starts wearing red shoes, you have to switch? Or is it just to match your arm-band? Why haven't you made any statements to the media about this yet? Have you hired a new (sensible) publicist? (Thank god.)
I appreciate the short hair, though. At least it stays out of your eyes.
With faith,
- J
Dear U2,
What's with the ESPN ads? No, seriously? Did you really lose that much money on the cancelled bits of the Vertigo tour? Or is ESPN giving you free ad space for RED ads, or just a big fat donation to DATA, or... this is all the drummers idea, isn't it. Y'all just want free tix to the games. You did notice that Ireland failed to make it, right? Be honest: after Royston left, you never had a chance. That's what you get for hiring a Brit to do a man's job.
Don't worry, I still love you.
- J
Your commentators are terrible. Please hire new ones, preferably articulate people with a basic knowledge of the game. At the very least, please hire researchers who will expand their reading beyond the English tabloids. While it is facinating that Becks has hair and wears clothes, this is not actually relevant to the game at hand. (Unless the product in his hair is so heavy as to add extra weight for his feet.) Yes, we know that Beckham is known for bending the ball. Yes, we know there was a movie whose title indicated this. But the fact of the matter is, the man does, occasionally, do something else.
It might also help if you gave your commentators a list with the team's names and corresponding numbers. Also if at least one of your commentators had actually heard of Paraguay before commenting on Paraguay's first match. Also, while the people plugging in the text realized that Paraguay had twice as many fouls as England, the commentators completely failed to mention that the refs seemed uninclined to call Paraguay out on any of their violent, un-called for attacks.
And, to the irritable guy: If it's so easy, why aren't you playing?
I would be happy to help you rectify the matter by offering my services.
Best,
- J
Dear Becks,
What's with the blue shoes? As soon as everyone else starts wearing red shoes, you have to switch? Or is it just to match your arm-band? Why haven't you made any statements to the media about this yet? Have you hired a new (sensible) publicist? (Thank god.)
I appreciate the short hair, though. At least it stays out of your eyes.
With faith,
- J
Dear U2,
What's with the ESPN ads? No, seriously? Did you really lose that much money on the cancelled bits of the Vertigo tour? Or is ESPN giving you free ad space for RED ads, or just a big fat donation to DATA, or... this is all the drummers idea, isn't it. Y'all just want free tix to the games. You did notice that Ireland failed to make it, right? Be honest: after Royston left, you never had a chance. That's what you get for hiring a Brit to do a man's job.
Don't worry, I still love you.
- J
posted by j | 8:19 AM
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