Vote for Me!

I have a lot of problems in my life. Fortunately I am awesome at solving problems.

One of my bigger problems right now is that, due to my busted knee, it is very hard to find fashionable, affordable shoes that fit my uber-geeky orthodics. As I am kind of a genius, I have decided instead to embrace the uber-geekyness and wear incredibly geeky shoes of the type that male graduate students taking degrees in microbiology might wear, even though I can find less-geeky but still not-terribly-fashionable shoes that fit my orthodics comfortably. By taking the shoe geekyness to the extreme, and still wearing cute jeans and fabulous tops, it will look like I intended to wear super-geeky shoes all along, and I will inevitably start a trend. You heard it here first, people.

Another big problem is that no one pays me for my hilarious jokes. The other day I stated that my goddaughter Grace is, in fact, the cutest baby of all time, and that I am going to make her a t-shirt that says "Cuter Than Jesus". I thought this was hilarious; my mother did not. To solve the dual problems of lack of laughs and lack of income, I am starting my long-dreamed of t-shirt company, and the first product will be a series of onesies in fashionable colours bearing the legend "Cuter Than Jesus" in a cute, hip font.

See how industrious I am? Shouldn't I be president of something?