How to Sneak Candy Around a Two-Year-Old
Necessary instruments:
- computer
- sweater or jacket with pockets
- table that is above eye-level of two-year-old
1. Pretend to do "work" (ie mess around on facebook) at the computer, which is set up on the table, with your back to the child.
2. Walk casually to kitchen. Look in fridge. Wash a dish. While putting dish in drying rack, quickly grab 2 or 3 pieces of leftover (read: stolen) halloween candy and shove in hoodie pockets.
3. Do "work."
4. Slip candy onto table, behind computer.
5. Play with child. Ignore computer and candy for fairly lengthy period of time.
6. While child is distracted with legos, go sit at computer. Put on TV or music to cover sound of candy wrapper crinkling. Wait a minute or two until her back is to you as she builds a tower or castle or whatever.
7. In one swift move, open candy, shove small bite in mouth, and eat quickly.
8. Back to playing with child.
Repeat steps 5-8 as needed, until candy is gone or child is asleep, whichever comes first.
Notes:
a. Do not get greedy. Err on the side of less candy consumed rather than risk two-year-old noticing that you have candy. If two-year-old notices you have candy, you will have to share.
b. This is not likely to work after child is three. At three, she will know exactly how much halloween candy she has and will not stand for you stealing it.
- computer
- sweater or jacket with pockets
- table that is above eye-level of two-year-old
1. Pretend to do "work" (ie mess around on facebook) at the computer, which is set up on the table, with your back to the child.
2. Walk casually to kitchen. Look in fridge. Wash a dish. While putting dish in drying rack, quickly grab 2 or 3 pieces of leftover (read: stolen) halloween candy and shove in hoodie pockets.
3. Do "work."
4. Slip candy onto table, behind computer.
5. Play with child. Ignore computer and candy for fairly lengthy period of time.
6. While child is distracted with legos, go sit at computer. Put on TV or music to cover sound of candy wrapper crinkling. Wait a minute or two until her back is to you as she builds a tower or castle or whatever.
7. In one swift move, open candy, shove small bite in mouth, and eat quickly.
8. Back to playing with child.
Repeat steps 5-8 as needed, until candy is gone or child is asleep, whichever comes first.
Notes:
a. Do not get greedy. Err on the side of less candy consumed rather than risk two-year-old noticing that you have candy. If two-year-old notices you have candy, you will have to share.
b. This is not likely to work after child is three. At three, she will know exactly how much halloween candy she has and will not stand for you stealing it.
posted by j | 2:40 PM
1 Comments:
It happens to be my child you are stealing candy from... but I can't decide if it makes me a good mother or a bad mother that I'm secretly cheering you on. Yay! More candy for you means less candy for her means fewer tantrums over not being allowed to eat it for breakfast.
Post a Comment
<< Home