For Better or For Worse
I am set to attend a wedding next month at which, inevitably, a number of people will ask me why I'm not married yet, given that I have finished my formal education and recently hit 30. I am not willing to buy into the kind of time limits that society and/or my father like to place on young women, but am very willing to have some fun with the people who do.
Potential reactions to the question, "Why aren't you married yet?"
1. "Oh, I've given up. Clearly I am over the hill. If you'd like to contribute, my father is taking donations to maintain me in my old age."
2. "Well, I keep putting out and putting out, but still no one has popped the question. Maybe I should learn some new bedroom tricks? Any tips?"
3. "It's just so hard to meet a nice young woman these days. Man. I meant, young man."
Any other ideas, internets?
Potential reactions to the question, "Why aren't you married yet?"
1. "Oh, I've given up. Clearly I am over the hill. If you'd like to contribute, my father is taking donations to maintain me in my old age."
2. "Well, I keep putting out and putting out, but still no one has popped the question. Maybe I should learn some new bedroom tricks? Any tips?"
3. "It's just so hard to meet a nice young woman these days. Man. I meant, young man."
Any other ideas, internets?
posted by j | 10:15 AM
2 Comments:
Oh, these are genius!!
You could also try this:
When asked, "Why aren't you married yet?" Look at the person with big, round, shocked eyes and ask: "Was that a hint? Are you asking me to marry YOU?"
Has even more shock value if the person asking is a woman and/or is already married.
Oh i avoided a family wedding because of this... you're awesome. Number 2 is my favorite!
Can you submit this to the aqsazine sex, love and marriage issue please!!!!
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