The Similarities Between Dog-Walking and Toddler-Wrangling

1. Toddlers need to stop to pet rocks and hug trees; dogs need to stop to sniff bushes and trees. As a result, what is a five-minute walk without toddlers or dogs is a fifteen-minute walk with either.

2. Toddlers and dogs both need to be told things three times before they listen, usually "Please don't eat the cat food!"

3. Phrases that I have applied to both toddlers and dogs include:
"Good girl/boy!"
"No no. We do not go into other people's yards."
"Please be gentle with the little doggy."
"Did you do a poopy?!"


Nightmare scenario:
Walking a toddler and a dog at the same time.


The Similarities Between Dog-Walking, Toddler-Wrangling, and Taking Care of My Father:

... You don't want to know